Keep Christ in the Holiday Season

This essay is about religion and it is also not about religion. Please be patient and read on before rolling your eyes and moving on to something else that will certainly be less important and have less of a positive impact on your life and on society in general.

December 25^th is Christmas Day. This religious feast celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ and has, or should have, important significance to all Christians. Somewhere along the line, the celebration of Jesus’ birth turned into a gift-buying orgy on which a good portion of the country’s economy is now dependent. Additionally, and more recently, Christmas and the Christmas Season (or technically Advent Season) morphed into the “Holiday Season”. No problem with the latter, “A rose by any other name”, as they say.

There is a problem, however, with the former. I believe that my experience with the criminally excessive commercialization of Christmas and the Christmas/Holiday Season is probably typical – I don’t like it. Whenever I talk to another gift-laden and debt-ridden participant in this vulgarization of one of the most beautiful episodes in human history, they also express their unhappiness with this self-inflicted group insanity. So what do we do?

I suggest that we do very little. That’s right. We should do less than what we do now so that we can, collectively restore some semblance of “peace on Earth and good will toward all” to the Christmas/Holiday Season. This move away from crass commercialism and materialism toward civility and charity would be more in keeping with the reason for the season regardless of your religious or atheistic orientation. The suggestion that follows requires some self-sacrifice on your part, but provides a bit of relief to some of the people who would normally give you a Christmas/Holiday gift. I’ll try to make this simple, but pay attention just in case I don’t.

You select one person (or more than one if the mood strikes you) that normally buys you a Christmas/Holiday gift. Tell that person that in lieu of a Christmas/Holiday gift, they should make a donation to a specific charity of either your choosing or theirs. Then on the day that you would normally exchange gifts with this person, they hand you an envelope with your name on it. Inside the envelope is a check made out to the charity. You say “Thank you”, embrace (optional), and then promptly mail the check. Now let’s think about what we will accomplish with this.

First, you are responsible for having a donation made to help people who are less fortunate than yourself. That’s always a good thing. Second, you relieved your friend of having to shop for one less gift. Again, always a good thing. Third, you save your friend some money because the donation is tax deductible and your gift would not be. Another good thing. It looks like a win-win-win to me except you get one less Christmas/Holiday gift. Are you really going to miss it? I didn’t think so.

So before the Christmas/Holiday Season shopping frenzy begins (which unfortunately now appears to be right after Labor Day), think about getting off the train and having some of your future Christmas/Holiday gifts turned into charitable donations. All it takes is a quick phone call, an email, or text. My suggestion is to make the phone call. It’s much more personal and more in keeping with the spirit of the season.

Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, or whatever. You know what I mean.

Sincerely,

Connor Fleming III

WE’RE BRINGING “BRAINLESS” BACK

Good news – we’re bringing “brainless” back. “Brainless” is an old expression that somehow fell out of common use about two or three decades ago. That’s sad because “brainless” is a direct, succinct way to accurately describe any number of unintelligent, silly, or foolish people and/or their actions without having to elaborate or to rely on profanity. No other explanation is necessary. That one simple word – “brainless” – says it all.

This word could be used to describe your boss (unless you’re self-employed), your bosses boss, your co-workers, some of your relatives, most if not all of your in-laws, your friends, your spouse’s friends, the guy tailgating you, the coach of your child’s sports team, the coach or manager of your favorite professional sports team, referees and umpires, politicians, and anyone employed in a bureaucratic position. Think of the possibilities. “Hey brainless, what are you doing?” “Hey brainless, what were you thinking?” “Hey brainless, where do you think you’re going?” “Hey brainless, what game are you watching?”

As you can see, brainless is typically preceded with the ubiquitous “Hey” and proceeded with a comma and a rhetorical question. There are other variations of this such as, “Did you see Brainless walk into the ladies room?” “I went to lunch with Brainless today.” “We had to go to my wife’s cousin’s house because it was their brainless son’s birthday.” And so forth and so on.

I think if we all made a reasonable effort to include “brainless” in our everyday language, we can not only reduce the amount of profanity so commonly used today, but bring back an old standby and faithful friend.

Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.

Robert

P.S. – Other excellent terms that I hope will start making inroads into common usage

- “See you later, Sweet Potato”; compliments of my father.

- “See you in a while, Honey Chile”; that’s with a long “i” and not the country; compliments of my Cousin Marie.

- “Okey Dokey, Smokey”; compliments of Connor Fleming III.